Governing Ourselves, Last Post

I’ve always been passionate about America.

In 2001, I went back to school to pursue a master’s degree in government from the formerly prestigious Johns Hopkins University. My wife and I had five young kids at the time, and we owned and operated a t-shirt printing shop near Baltimore.

Like any start-up, the business struggled to get off the ground, and we struggled to make ends meet.

Going back to school at age 32 was our way of trying to improve our lives. It also represented the pursuit of something my wife and I knew I truly loved and the desire to dedicate ourselves to something more meaningful.

Since the program was in Washington, DC, I also volunteered as an intern for my local congressman on Capitol Hill on the days I had class.

I started my first semester and began commuting to DC each week in January of 2001 as George W. Bush was sworn in as the nation’s new president.

I was still running our small family business with the help of my wife and two great employees. During the next few years, we made many sacrifices as a family in order to achieve this lofty goal.

Nine months into my program, I was taking an interesting class about Muslim extremism when planes crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City and our nation’s Pentagon (just a mile or so away from my campus).

The news was reporting that smoke was coming from the Capitol building and that another plane went down in Pennsylvania that was believed to have been headed for the White House or the Capitol.

I was left wondering if my friends in DC were safe or not…or if we would be, in Baltimore…or if I knew anyone in the Pentagon, in the Towers, or on the planes.

Miraculously, I was not in DC that day, and my wife and I were able to rush to get the kids from school. Later that day, we had to take our son to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore for an emergency the doctors said could not wait. I had never seen Baltimore’s streets so eerily empty in all my years in Maryland.

9/11 changed our world, and none of us who were alive in 2001 — watching — feeling, and seeing those things on that day, will ever be the same. Many of us lost friends in the attacks or in the endless wars that ensued.

One of my best childhood friends was a Chinook pilot in Afghanistan and Iraq. He was scheduled to come home in 3 weeks to retire from the military after 18 years of service when his aircraft went down. He left behind a wife and three young daughters. His name was John Quinlan.

Two of my friends were in the towers. Both got out. One lost his 100+ page thesis (not yet turned in and defended). The other lost nearly his entire staff—67 people. One of my sister’s friends from our local high school didn’t get out alive either. His name was Adam, and he was only 28 years old.

We ALL knew someone, it seemed.

My passion for good government increased during these life-changing events, and my resolve to understand what made our nation so unique was strengthened. I saw firsthand that good government was indeed a question of life and death, and clearly, bad government and bad people caused the terror we all experienced on 9/11.

The final graduation requirement was a 100+ page master’s thesis. I was not a naturally gifted writer and were it not for the three years of writing on the Hill and the several dozen papers I had to write to that present moment, the task would have been impossible for me. And even then, I had so much help from friends and from the Lord.

I chose the controversial topic of the separation of church and state and specifically argued that President George Bush’s faith-based initiatives violated that important principle. I had voted for Bush and was not yet entirely awake to the evil cabal he was a part of. So, writing a paper opposed to his agenda was not an easy task at that time, especially given the zeitgeist of renewed American patriotism he seemed to be engendering and benefiting from.

But truth is truth, and it deserves to be defended, even when those we love are on the other side of it.

I was surprised when I got accolades on my thesis from both liberal and conservative professors. I quoted Benson, Skousen, C.S. Lewis, and many of the Founding Fathers, and not only got away with it, but I graduated with honors.

All that is a very long and personal backdrop for this last post. Mostly, I want to say that I love the principles of freedom, I love our country, and, like you, I’ve always wanted to better understand and defend those foundational principles of our unique Constitution, which we know was inspired by God and yet would only work for a moral and virtuous people.

Watching the accelerated decline of our nation and the simultaneous loss of authority of the LDS Church has been surreal for me. Knowing that God is now working again, a second time, to restore not just “much of his gospel,” but rather, ALL of it, is also surreal and beyond humbling.

The stakes are success or failure: life or death. Failure being, us and our loved ones and millions of other souls, lost in the eternal waste pile of destruction like what I saw firsthand when visiting the actual heaps of rubble from 9/11 in early October of 2001. Thousands of people had been ground to powder, their missing persons fliers still posted on the street corners. The Book of Mormon serves as an ominous warning that WHEN America refuses to repent, THIS kind of destruction IS our fate.

In my study of government at Hopkins, I spent much of my focus studying the ideas of Thomas Jefferson and his protégé, James Madison. Jefferson had a foundational influence on our Constitution. Even though his Articles of Confederation “failed,” — they laid the foundation for the Constitution.

Madison acted as scribe for the Founders (most specifically Jefferson, who was undoubtedly the most well-versed in the great philosophers of government: Locke, Montesquieu, Smith, Rousseau, Hobbes…) as they tried to change and improve their governing documents, hopefully without another war. The fact they succeeded is a miracle.

Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the right to privacy, the right to bear arms, the right to self-defense, and the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… representative democracy (a Republic), checks and balances at every level, independent sovereign states and many other principles and bold ideas such as “we are all equal” and “created by God,” and each have individual inalienable rights — are all embodied in this inspired form of government.

For it to work, the people needed to be able to self-govern. In fact, the whole experiment is predicated upon it. If the people can’t control themselves and do not agree on the same principles of morality and virtue, then it all fails.

Approaching Zion

In a community of fellowships seeking to be part of Zion, we must learn to apply the many principles we’ve been taught and then govern ourselves.

In addition to the correct principles we are expected to live by, the Lord has provided a particular process for resolving important matters involving a man’s priesthood certificate.

Implied, however, in this process is the idea that anyone who refuses to repent of an egregious sin and, thus, is a potential threat to the peace of the community may also need to be cast out. (see glossary for Cast Out, and see T&C 26:6)

A few months ago, I was asked to testify at a Women’s Council. It was a very difficult experience, especially since the accused was a friend. This person had acted out publicly, prompting several of us to approach him privately after the fact to address his harmful actions in a firm but kind way.

His flippant and uncaring response to those attempts revealed an unwillingness to see his errors and repent. Sadly, he was the one who made his problems public, and he allowed them to take center stage for those of us who are now witnesses.

Due to the nature of the charges, the women on the council had reasons to be concerned about their privacy and safety. As such, it’s my understanding that the women voted to keep their names as private as possible, allowing three women to vouch that the other women, in fact, existed and that all were acting in good faith as they proceeded.

Their concerns were validated when the accused man colluded with others, not on the council, to undermine the efforts of the women. He and those he conspired with called it a “Phantom Council” and leveled many false allegations against the women and their proceedings.

One such allegation was that he hadn’t been given a chance to defend himself. That is false. He had been given numerous opportunities “to speak on his behalf” per the Lord’s guidelines and answer the charges outlined in multiple emails sent to him before the council convened. But he had flatly refused to do so, instead offering a host of flimsy excuses and prideful reasons why he chose not to, despite their several requests for him to respond with a written statement, a video, or an audio file.

However, a few hours before the council began and two days past the deadline, he sent a written statement utterly devoid of remorse or repentance. In fact, it was accusatory, harsh, and demeaning to the women he called “unsolicited volunteers” (among other things), who were only interested in “spreading gossip” and using their power to attack him.

Additionally, he complained that he was not told who the women on the council were. Keep in mind he had been given the names of those who had written the numerous witness accounts about his harmful public behavior, including mine. So, he absolutely knew who his “accusers” were. But he also insisted on knowing the names of the women on the council. All but a few were unwilling to share their names out of fear of retaliation from him.

Suffice it to say that he went to great lengths to make the process exceedingly more difficult for everyone involved. His strident unwillingness to be respectful of the women on the council and the process was problematic from the get-go.

I was present during the proceedings when his written statement was read to the Council. His statement included several pointed attacks on my character and the other witnesses, so I was asked to stay on the call to listen and respond. As mentioned above, I can attest to the fact that his comments showed zero remorse; he took no responsibility for his actions, admitted no guilt, and expressed disdain for the entire process.

At the end of the proceedings, a vote was taken, and all but two of the thirteen women voted to revoke his priesthood certificate.

Shortly after that, I was contacted by a woman who, based on her words, I could discern was one of the people the accused was colluding with to interfere with the Council’s efforts.

She texted me and asked if I had acted as a witness against this man in the recent Women’s Council. Surprised that she knew I was involved, I asked what her intentions were and told her I was uncomfortable discussing confidential matters of a women’s council she was not involved in.

Refusing to back off, she pressed further and asked what I testified against the man. Alarmed by her seemingly subversive approach, I told her I was not interested in discussing things with her any further and asked her to please respect my request. But she persisted and then emailed me, again asking me to disclose details about confidential matters that she seemed to think were her business.

As it turns out, I was not the only person she was pressing for information. Multiple women on the council, along with all four of the witnesses, reported being harassed. Her aggressive badgering led to several uncomfortable and unnecessarily contentious exchanges.

Eventually, she resorted to threats of extortion. Her cruel plot was to publicly expose me as the writer of my blog. But it was not just me; another blogger was hoping to keep his blog anonymous, and she was threatening to expose him, too, for reasons nobody could understand. We all were shocked at how this person was planning to punish anyone and everyone who participated in this Council. And why? Because we would not divulge highly sensitive and potentially explosive information per her demand.

When my wife and I heard about her scheme to “out” me as the Anonymous Bishop, my wife, who had considered this person a friend, reached out to her and pleaded with her not to do it. She told her how much damage it could do to our family. She asked her to respect our privacy and my reasons for being anonymous. She told her it was not her right to reveal this information to the public.

The woman did not seem to care how hurtful this betrayal was to us. She exposed my identity, nonetheless, in a blog post on her blog. After she published it, we again pleaded with her to take it down, as did many others. She refused, and it can still be found there. Unfortunately, she has continued to employ these and other harmful tactics to coerce people to share private information with her and to punish them for testifying against the accused man in the first place, as she did to me.

This was not only extortion on her part but a woefully cruel way to treat people who once called her friend. Additionally, her doxxing me was not just malicious, but it was also illegal. Exposing someone’s identity with the intent to cause harm is a crime. And why did she do it? Because I chose to respect and uphold confidential details connected to a process that was intended to be private and politely asked her to refrain from contacting me about it.

How Do We Self-Govern?

The irony of it all is quite remarkable. I began this series of posts on governing ourselves because I was frustrated that we, as a group of believers, can’t seem to agree upon even the most basic principles of civility.

The posts were intended to contemplate ideas on how we might do better, given ALL we’ve been taught by a faithful messenger who has stood in God’s presence and has been laboring to teach us how to prepare ourselves to qualify for Zion for the better part of 12 years.

I thus pose the question: How do we decide what constitutes harmful behavior and what needs to be addressed as a community of believers? 

Perhaps we can consider the following when seeking ways we can (and should) do better in protecting our community: 

What I am about to share is not intended to be a passive-aggressive jab at any one person. It’s intended to serve as a tragic example of where we, as a group, have fallen short recently in protecting our community from a grave threat.

I hope that by addressing it openly, we can all realize our need to do better. None of what I say is meant to add further pain to the family members and friends of the person who will be mentioned.

As some of you know, there was a person accused of pedophilia who fellowshipped among us. As a result of being found guilty of pedophilia, he is currently serving a prison sentence.

In fairness to him, I don’t have firsthand knowledge of all the charges or all the facts. What I do know is that at some point, this man was privately told that because of several accusations being made against him, he should not be hanging out with children. He blatantly ignored that advice.

Some few people knew of this man’s history but failed to make it known, even in a sensitive, confidential way, leaving us to discern, without a lot of help, that his interactions with young girls seemed inappropriate.

Inexplicably, he was allowed, even encouraged at times, to be with our little girls instead of with the adults despite some in our community knowing he may pose a threat. He attended conferences and fellowships and was in people’s homes where vulnerable children were present.

Those who were aware of his past and present struggles with pedophilia chose not to convene a women’s council to revoke his priesthood certificate. Astonishingly, no real effort was made by anyone to confront him and cast him out. Some even stated that we should let God judge him and that we didn’t have the right to do anything but love him. “His sins were in his past and everyone can be forgiven…” was the argument.

My wife and I were met with some resistance as we began to inquire when we observed this man’s highly suspicious behavior around children. Eventually, we found a few others with the same concerns and discussed what we should do.

Law enforcement got involved shortly after that, which led to the man’s arrest and incarceration. But only after years of being allowed to roam freely through our community of believers, always finding a way to be around our precious and vulnerable little girls.

Here are the salient questions to ask about the scenario I just shared:

Did we govern ourselves properly as it pertained to this man?

Did we protect our children and our community?

Did we exercise discernment?

Were we firm-minded in our approach?

Can we not all agree that some lines can NEVER be crossed—not even once? And that we must work together to do better.

And lastly, would this man still be among us, “in good standing,” if he had never been caught?

These are the same questions I pose regarding the recent Women’s Council.

Now, to be clear, the man at the center of the recent women’s council was not accused of pedophilia. And I’m not equating his actions to those of someone guilty of pedophilia. And because I respect this man’s privacy, I won’t elaborate on or reveal publicly the details of his actions.

Nevertheless, the question demands an answer: how do we deal with someone acting in a harmful way and refusing to repent?

We must stand together, defend truth and goodness, and seek to protect each other; otherwise, how can we expect anyone to want to join us? How can we expect the Lord’s protection if we aren’t willing to do our part to protect our community? How can anyone feel wanted or safe among us if we don’t resolve here and now to do better?

A Bad Precedent

We should all be highly concerned about the unfounded rumors, gossip, and criticism directed at the latest Women’s Council. Even as I write, efforts are underway to “hold accountable” the courageous women who participated in it.

The abuse and the rumors being tossed around about them are hurtful, harmful, and, frankly, sad. Regardless of your feelings about the accused, the women from this council deserve our deepest gratitude for their sacrifice and willingness to ask hard questions and seek resolution on difficult issues despite the malicious retaliation and criticism they have received (and continue to receive). They should be thanked, NOT criticized.

Could they have done things differently? Yes. But would that have changed the outcome? Maybe, but not likely. The bottom line here is, given the circumstances they confronted and given the resistance they had and continue to have from some, they actually should receive a standing ovation from a community of people trying to learn how to govern themselves using the ONLY formal process that is currently in place and at our disposal.

In my opinion, this community’s attention should not be focused on finding fault with their valiant efforts but rather on the actions of the individual who prompted the women’s council in the first place, on those who have actively sought to condemn and harass the women, and on all others who have defended and enabled very harmful behavior.

One of the women in the recent council is newer to our group and has taken many arrows. Gratefully, she is an incredibly strong person, but the critical question we must ask is, will other women in a future council be as willing and able to endure so much persecution? Will they also be willing to be called horrible names and to be punished on our behalf for calling out harmful behavior? Publicly disparaged and condemned for trying so hard to protect the vulnerable (our daughters and wives) in our community from this kind of harassment and abuse?

And most importantly, are YOU willing to let them endure such awful consequences that I understand has also included death threats to OUR WOMEN. (Source).

One would assume that we could look at the completed process and suppose that those who still support this man feel vindicated by the outcome. After all, he retained his certificate because the vote to revoke it was not unanimous. Is it unreasonable to now hope that the doxxing will stop and the criticism of the witnesses for their testimonies will abate? The accused and his ardent supporters got their desired outcome. So, it should stop, right?

Not so. Some now seem more invigorated than ever to punish those who did the process wrong, in their opinion, even though “the process worked” … for them. What will be the next retaliation against me or other witnesses or against the women who participated? Who knows. Time will tell. We must not cower in the face of such bullying, or more harm will surely be done.

Is this the precedent we want to set?

Surely, we are expected to do better. And indeed, we can do better by being more supportive of the efforts made by the women in our community tasked with this sacred responsibility.

Otherwise, no truly wise woman will ever be willing to serve on a council again.

Conclusion

I hope and pray that this last post is not perceived or received as a gratuitous attack on anyone. I’ve tried to be direct while also being sensitive to the fact that we are all, for the most part, trying to do what we believe is right. None of us is usually 100% right or 100% wrong. We ALL fall short.

I’m a very flawed person, and I ask for your forgiveness for the many offenses I’ve committed against any individual or group among us.

I don’t say that to suggest there aren’t offenses or that I’m unaware of any. I know I’m a fool and am prone to many errors.

I feel blessed beyond words to be among you, and like you, I pray and weep for Zion. I know I have a long way to go before I can be worthy of that beautiful place we all hope to be a part of.

I want to thank all of you who have loved us, especially those who have been so kind to my wife and kids and who have been patient with me.

May we all be more firm-minded and able to live by the first principles of self-government. And may we all follow the commandment that seems to be most often brought to our attention, right here and right now, by the Lord, WHILE learning to protect our community:

…to become precious to each other, while there’s still time. This would seem to be the best foundation for governing ourselves.

It’s been an incredible and exciting journey together on this blog. I hold no malice towards anyone for how this now ends.

I can only assume that now another story must begin.

With love,

AB